MySpace users and abusers have no doubt noticed a little Flash window popping up on the profile pages of MySpace bands with a map that displays the location of each of their fans as icons dotting the countryside. The embedded window is Frappr (short for ‘Friend Mapper’) and it is becoming a ubiquitous feature for bands who want to show off the geographic spread of their fan base. Now, you can customize the ‘zoom’ of the map to any size, from the United States to the streets of your hometown. Unfortunately, most of the bands have it set to display, for instance, the entire Northeast if not the whole damn country. Frappr is actually a really cool idea, but I have to call these bands out because they’re missing the point.

Now here’s the part that’s pissing me off: your band sounds like a Kindergarten class in a gas chamber and yet you have ten friends in Alaska, three in Tennessee, twelve in Maine and two in fucking Ecuador. In other words, your band is sounding local, dude. Who are you kidding? If you want MySpace groupies to think you’re cool, don’t add vanity friends to make it look like you’re a national touring powerhouse. The only show you’re listing on your MySpace page is at the ‘East Arkville Community Center’ and it isn’t for another three months!

When a local band turns its Frappr zoom to a regional or national level, they’re not only making themselves look dumb, they’re not representing their scene! You have to collect scene points if you’re ever to get the hell out of your shithole town and play some real gigs with real microphones and real audiences. I’m not saying that until you play the Ecuador Pepsi Arena you should block all friend requests from outside the country. But rule number one should always be: Represent the scene!

Getting to go on tour is all about being the ambassador for your scene. You’ll never even reach the next state over unless you have a scene to ‘ambassador’ about! So zoom your Frapprs in as close to your scene as possible. Wear your closest fans, friends and supporters on your proverbial MySpace sleeve. Be proud of your town and the people that put up with your music as it made the grueling journey from crappy to less crappy.

Be the architect of your scene! Be the guy passing out flyers, booking shows, recording demos, promoting online, etc. Think of it this way: if you can build a scene locally, you can then invade other scenes and build self-replicating mini-scenes that spread like Hepatits to Steven Tyler.

It’s not just Frappr that’s the problem. Bottom line — when you’re building your MySpace profile, start local and don’t reach too far too fast. Add all the bands within a 100-mile radius that you think might be into your music, and then proceed to conquer all their local fans. I’m not going to tell you not to add 20 hot girls from Rhode Island on a whim, but I think you get the idea.

And even when you’re rocking the Cingular Wireless Amphitheater at Wal-Mart Plaza, keep that Frappr zoomed on your hometown. As much as you’ll be glad you left it behind to play video games in the back of a bus on highways across America, remember and respect your hometown as the womb of your musicianship. The birth of a touring band is a messy process, and when you zoom out on Frappr, you’re slipping out of the doctor’s hands before they even cut the cord.

On the PBS Media Shift blog, Mark Glaser tips us off to the ‘gotchas’ behind SpiralFrog, the pioneering ad-supported free download service that seems to be gaining support of all the record industry heavyweights. Besides important questions like, “Where are the royalties for artists?”, I’m kind of wondering if SpiralFrog doesn’t cross the line from simple advertising to straight-up adware. And even if it is a harmless 90-second commercial and the target audience has taken their Ritalin as prescribed, the DRM chastity belt removes the interactive, social aspect of music — which is exactly what going digital is all about. Finally, I can’t resist… on what planet of lobotomized acid casualty marketing directors did you get that fantastic brand name?

What makes SpiralFrog even more of a joke is that I believe the ad-supported free music model to be one of the more important next-gen music business strategies. But when something like this rolls out, it all seems like PressPlay vs. eMusic all over again; the old guard vs. the new order. After a short burst of interest, SpiralFrog will be displaced by a more savvy competitor that will give its customers a few ounces of respect along with their ad-supported download.